Showing posts with label Fat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fat. Show all posts
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Phat People
What would this world be like if there were no fat people? Some of the funniest people are fat, look at Chris Farley, John Belushi, and Gabriel Iglesias. Aside from these big comedians, look around you. Everyone has that fat friend who you can go to Chipotle with, or hug when you need a good cry, or just have a good time with cracking jokes. I know we say that the Obesity Rate is rising in the United States but most people don’t care about the Obesity Rate we care about the level below that, the fat people rate. If you’re funny or nice and you’re fat then god bless you, let’s go enjoy a burger together or laugh at that dude running horrible game on that girl. But if you’re mean and fat, then I don’t even know. At that point you either need to start hanging out with nice and funny fat people or go see a doctor. To me a mean fat person means that I can’t laugh or cry with you and I have to watch you be mean to me and other people who aren’t fat or are fat. That’s just messed up, go jump off a balcony.
Muffintops
You know what the most disgusting thing is? Honestly, you could ask me right now what I thought the most disgusting thing is and I could straight up tell you. Muffintops. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I’m not talking about what I cook in the kitchen with my mom and sister. I’m talking about the home of the belly roll, the hanging of fat over the jeans. Sure there is plenty of people out there with muffin tops but a mix of that with a pair of jeans most definitely seals the deal.
We can look at it from two spectrums, the tighties and the loosey goosey. A muffin top with tight jeans is no different than trying to squeeze that last bit of toothpaste to place it on your tooth brush. When muffin tops wear tight jeans they are exercising a lower body to upper body toothpaste effect which causes the fat to hang over the jeans creating what I call ,a cliffhanger. I don't know why I just used exercising in that sentence because it does not belong there, no sir. When you see the cliffhanger, it's time to run. The other side of the spectrum deals with a muffin top wearing really loose jeans which in this case still causes a hanging effect but not as severe as the cliffhanger. These jeans create a new concept in which I call the Indiana Jones. Basically, you have this girl with flab still hanging over her loose jeans but it looks like she just went to the bathroom. Both the cliffhanger and Indiana Jones are extreme ends of the spectrum but at the end of the day both disgusting. Is it me or do muffin tops look that much worse on females? Yeah I think so too.
I always thought Muffin tops were interesting creatures, they were always like science experiments. Every time I look at them I imagine a bunch of them inside of a lab, in a glass room with scientists running tests on their bodies wondering how the stomach got to this kind of stage. Even more interesting to me was how muffintop girls always seemed to get better looking over the years. In high school there were those muffintop girls who didn’t look good at all but after you went to college and decided to add them on facebook they all had model bodies. It makes you wonder was the reason they looked so physically unattractive because of the whack people at the highschool or what? It’s like when they go off to college, they go through Batman’s training with the League of Shadows. That or they were training for the Olympics.
We can look at it from two spectrums, the tighties and the loosey goosey. A muffin top with tight jeans is no different than trying to squeeze that last bit of toothpaste to place it on your tooth brush. When muffin tops wear tight jeans they are exercising a lower body to upper body toothpaste effect which causes the fat to hang over the jeans creating what I call ,a cliffhanger. I don't know why I just used exercising in that sentence because it does not belong there, no sir. When you see the cliffhanger, it's time to run. The other side of the spectrum deals with a muffin top wearing really loose jeans which in this case still causes a hanging effect but not as severe as the cliffhanger. These jeans create a new concept in which I call the Indiana Jones. Basically, you have this girl with flab still hanging over her loose jeans but it looks like she just went to the bathroom. Both the cliffhanger and Indiana Jones are extreme ends of the spectrum but at the end of the day both disgusting. Is it me or do muffin tops look that much worse on females? Yeah I think so too.
I always thought Muffin tops were interesting creatures, they were always like science experiments. Every time I look at them I imagine a bunch of them inside of a lab, in a glass room with scientists running tests on their bodies wondering how the stomach got to this kind of stage. Even more interesting to me was how muffintop girls always seemed to get better looking over the years. In high school there were those muffintop girls who didn’t look good at all but after you went to college and decided to add them on facebook they all had model bodies. It makes you wonder was the reason they looked so physically unattractive because of the whack people at the highschool or what? It’s like when they go off to college, they go through Batman’s training with the League of Shadows. That or they were training for the Olympics.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)