Gaming

I play games, every young guy does. If you don’t you’re weird that’s just how it is. It was always like that, you’d have a whole bunch of friends over and you just finished watching a movie or eating some food  and one of your friends is like “Hey lets go play the new Halo 3 that just came out!” There's always that one friend who’s not really down, he was the uncool friend. That guy who was just there cause you tried to train him to be cool but it never worked out. I always thought it was funny when you played online and there would be that girl playing and everyone would always try and get in her pants. They’d be like, “Yo LilCutie follow me, the Gatling gun is this way.” Dude you’re not going to get in her pants, she’s playing from Greece and you're in the United States. It was even funnier when you’d hear her voice over the headset, she’d sound so hot cause of the microphone. But in reality, she’s like a fat redheaded chick with no friends with a bag of Cheetos in front of her, yep definitely a muffin top.

Present Giving

I love giving presents, One time I got this girl that I liked a present she looks at me and goes ,”what is it?” I replied, “Um a present.” She goes cute, “Is it like a box of chocolates? It feels like a book,” “No it’s a praying mantis statue, just open the damn gift.”
Its always funny when people are opening gifts, theres like that awkward moment between you and them where they feel like they don’t deserve it, that or its not going to be good enough. The worst is when someone’s birthday is coming, and you’re like ,”Dude your birthdays coming up, I got you the best gift, probably the best thing you’ve ever gotten.” You hype it so much that you make it seem like youre going to get them a motorcycle or a million dollars. But you really got them the XBOX headset that’s like solared power. I mean that’s cool but that’s not that cool. A good gift is something you can use everyday and for girls its something they can brag about it, especially if its your girlfriend or your wife. Shes not going to get far with her bragging about a solared power xbox headset, unless shes into gaming then that’s a different story.
I always found it amusing how we would give our friends a heads up about their birthdays weeks before the actual big day but would end up buying a present a couple hours before their actual celebration. “Dude, the bday is in 2 weeks, you ready big guy?” An hour before his birthday party you would stop and get him a $20 gift card from Radioshack. “Hmm, Im too cheap and unoriginal to buy him anything else so I’ll buy a gift card to a store where he can get some batteries.”  I really think when you purchase a gift for someone it shows how much they mean to you. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to go out and buy them a private jet, a small poem can be more valuable than some money or expensive shoes but it all comes down to the thought.
Another awkward moment with gifting is when someone gives you a gift, it could be a crystal vase or a cute mug and it has the barcode with the serial price on the bottom but its all scratched off. It’s one of those barcodes that was glued on so well it didn’t peel off smoothly. And not only can you see the price of the gift but sometimes it even has “clearance” written on it somewhere. Not that it’s a big deal, but dude I know you went to the back of Marhsalls or TJMaxx and picked out one of the leftovers on clearance. The section in the back where all the old people roam in their free time looking for sculptures and ceramic sets, yeah that place.
You always had those friends who would be like “Yo man, your birthday is coming up soon. Big things this year.” I don’t know why but I never really liked hearing that, “big things this year.” What does that even mean?  When I hear someone say that to somebody else or someone says that to me there’s really no response for that, all you can do is just smile and nod.